


maybe i'll never change, but i'm still glad i came

by dewpix



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Independent New Vegas (Fallout), Legion-Aligned Courier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23897110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dewpix/pseuds/dewpix
Summary: The courier glances up, eyes sharp, ready for anything Benny throws at her. That’s something he’s always liked about his desert walking broad—she’ll never underestimate anyone, and as a result of that fine-tuned paranoia, nothing takes her off guard and no surprise gets her off her feet, which are always standing on tiptoe and ready to leap.(A look into Benny as a companion to courier six, after everything.)
Relationships: Benny/Courier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	maybe i'll never change, but i'm still glad i came

“Hey, doll.”

The courier glances up, eyes sharp, ready for anything Benny throws at her. That’s something he’s always liked about his desert walking broad—she’ll never underestimate anyone, and as a result of that fine-tuned paranoia, nothing takes her off guard and no surprise gets her off her feet, which are always standing on tiptoe and ready to leap.

On the fat chance that you do get lucky, though, and the _whammo_ takes her out, you just gotta give her time. She’ll hop right on back up and shove her boot up your ass to pay you back for it, smiling down at you all the while. Like something from an old world holotape: _have a nice life, come again never!_ Any hope he’d had of getting her back had been crushed the minute she hung him up on a cross and didn’t even flinch or cry, anything a normal dame might have done in her place. She didn’t even stay to watch the nails go into his hands, the heartless bitch. She’d just turned right around in that tent and presumably gave Caesar a blowjob or...whatever it is that made big red think he wasn’t next in line. He’d waited for the old man to pass by his spot, hoping to squeeze out a killer line like _today me, tomorrow you, pal!_ , then die all real dramatic like. But he’d been cut down in the night before he got a chance, which is another doozy all its own.

The courier says _she_ was the pussycat that took him down and had him patched up, that it was all a fraud show for Caesar’s sake, but Benny doubts that. Then doesn’t. Then does. It’s a freaky back and forth, swapping from trust to fearing for his life daily, but at least it keeps his mind busy while Kaj works. Which is maybe what she wants, the sneaky broad. He wouldn’t put that kind of wild dice game past her.

Benny had a question in mind when he got her attention, but he looks right into her eyes (dark as the Mojave night sky and twice as deadly) and gets choked up. He wants to get this damn funny feeling out of his chest and tell her something, anything, but _I love you_ is too powerful and too soon and too open; _I like you_ is far too juvenile for someone like the Ben-man. Nevermind that _like_ doesn’t even begin to cover the range of feeling she pulls out of him.

“You, uh. y’did good back there, baby.” _Back there_ meaning the deal she struck up with a caravan, dinner in trade for a couple of fixer-ups. Something even he could talk his way into, not really that zinger of a job. Of course, it also means her utter decimation of the fort, and her iron grip on Vegas, and everything that came before they joined up but after he put two bullets into her wild ass brain, sending her on the path of total destruction. He don’t know how she’s supposed to know all that, but sometimes, Benny really thinks his pussycat can read his mind. He hopes that comes in handy now, so he don’t have to embarrass himself to her. “Real, real good.”

She smiles, and Benny feels lightning bolt warm all the way down to his toes, which curl up tight in his shoes. Shiiiiit.

“You really think?” She looks so proud. His gal is a scary thing, and ruthless enough to make him say it again for her own ego. He looks at his shoes, unable to bear the intensity of her gaze, which seems to know everything and take no prisoners.

“Yeah, I really think.” This shit is more painful than a speeding bullet. God help him, just shoot him and end the suspense.

“Thanks, baby. Now eat your damn food. I paid good caps for that.” An imitation of his drawl on the word baby, then Kaj goes back to eating like she hasn’t just set his heart running off at 70 miles per hour with a four letter word. Benny watches her stuff cooked gecko into her mouth and knows, really knows, that he could wander the Mojave until the end of all days and never ever find a broad who’s so heartstoppingly ten karat, who can tear his heart out of his chest and lick up the blood dripping down her wrist like a good whiskey. And if that visual freaks you out, then you might know how he feels being with the monster of the Mojave on a daily basis.

He eats his food. It’s salty. Without saying anything, Kaj passes him her canteen and watches him drink from it like a hungry wolf. The irony of them eating gecko doesn't escape him.

-

That night, he feigns sleep while Kaj reloads her guns, sitting next to the fire and keeping watch. Couldn’t sit there any longer, bearing the silence and her searching looks. He’d crawled into the sleeping bag she gave him like it was a suit of armor. Though it’d been his big plan to lay awake in wait, see if he can figure out what’s up her sleeve (what’s got her so damn moody), nothing happens for the longest time. Of course it doesn’t. Like always, the courier finds a way to foil his plan, or turn it topsy-turvy on his head until he’s dizzy. She’s even precise in the way she reloads, the click so predictable that Benny thinks, if he had the ear for that kinda thing, he could make a song of it.

Just when he thinks he might as well roll over and really go on into the dream world, the clicking of bullets stops. Benny hears brushing on sand, matches the sound to someone crawling on hands and knees (a sound he could place anywhere, given the familiarity he’s got with it). Pressure and something wet (lips?) land on his cheek, not cool enough to be rain. A voice not far behind says: “I love you, Benny.” 

Holy hell. Only once has he ever heard her voice so damn rough: the night they were first together, a night held in his mind forever. If it weren’t for the hard earth underneath him, he could pretend he was there again, ready to take over the world for this broad. He remembers her hair spread out over the pillow, her lips parted slightly in sleep. Remembers how beautiful she was, and how much he hated and adored her then. Remembers his satisfaction, both from the freaky sex and the fact that he'd had a pussycat so impressive curled up on his arm. He'd thought she was eating out of his hand then. Benny feels stupid when he thinks about that. He'd been a fly in a spider's web and he'd had the stupidity to be smug about it.

He wishes she wasn’t so smart sometimes, as much as he loves their ten steps ahead chess/chase games. He’d planned to waltz into the strip with all those securitrons and crown ‘em both king and queen, but like everything else, she’d ripped the rug right out from under him and took the crown for herself. Just like now, when she says the things he couldn’t say if you held _Maria_ to his head and made him beg.

“You—” Damn, is she crying? Her voice, so sweet and lilting with that stupid drawl of hers, is instead a whisper, rough as sandpaper against Benny’s face. Her breath smells like blood. “Don’t ever, never leave me, you stupid old snake bastard. Not like everyone else. I know I’m a real bitch, I know I’ve done so many things that my own mama couldn’t forgive me for, but I...I just couldn’t stand it if you did. I couldn’t. I need you here with me, alright? Can’t go back to being alone. Just can’t.”

A long moment passes, and Benny thinks about giving up the jig and saying something in response to that whammy she’s just dropped on him. But then the sound of sand again, and she’s gone, back to her work. _Cla-clink. Cla-clink._

Benny’s heart beats in his chest like a deathclaw has just passed them by (or something much worse). He knows sleep is a long time coming.


End file.
